Thursday, March 25, 2010

genkydeska

the dance continues with no place to stand

only a place to watch

we create each other

always

meeting ourself time and time again

and wondering why we are not perfect

what is wrong with you? we ask,

never noticing that our glasses are full of scratches and the prescription is thousands of years old

we judge others as if they are the doers,

we ask for what we think we want and when it comes we say 'what the fuck?'

'lie to me' is what we were really saying

'accept me!' we demand when we can't even do it ourselves.

what is truth, anyway?

what's not a story?

when can we go back to the time before words? before the apple?

what about now?

will we love each other now?

can we remember the divine essence from which we both sprung?

until we forget again.

funny thing, this life, and all its shoulds. planet should. inhabited by shoulders.

i'm dying. whoop, there i went. rest in peace, sweet innocent dreamer. you tried really hard. you did your best. your heart was in the right place. i'm sorry i didn't appreciate you more. didn't let you play more. i'm sorry i was so hard on you. i'm sorry i expected so much and gave you credit for so little. i'm sorry i never let you off the hamster wheel. i'm sorry i always asked more, more, more and was never satisfied. i'm sorry we spent so little time just being, enjoying the beauty of what was. i love you, baby. so much. i'm sorry i didn't know how to show it. go, be at peace. finally. you deserve it. and you always have.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What am I supposed to be learning? Music proficiency or poise and grace?



Here I offer my first piano performance exam of the semester. Class Piano 2. Ivan Sings composed by Aram Khatchaturian. Well, Ivan attempts to sing through the piano and me and has a difficult time expressing himself. My first performance B in piano. No one got an A. Dr. Termini gave a very rousing lecture afterwards on expression in music and likened us to lifeless drones or something like that.

He asked us to ask ourselves why we wanted to be musicians. It's a good question. He said that the world is full of people who were technically proficient and that's not enough to sell tickets. If they can't 'feel you', they'll be bored. You have to connect to the audience. Share the experience with them. He's shown us video clips of some great performers so that we could see that it didn't matter that they missed a note here or there- the audiences loved them and didn't care because they were so moved.

Dr. Termini wants us to take risks - to risk missing a key if it's going to mean that we're up there saying something and not just going through the motions. It was quite a memorable speech. My friend Amber wished we had gotten it on video. I can really appreciate him wanting to set the bar high and to pass on what he has learned in his experience. He wants us to succeed. He cares:)

I care. This was the hardest piece yet. I made a lot of mistakes. Apparently, I even learned one note wrong. I had just memorized it, so I thought. It definitely was not an A performance. Not only did I get some notes wrong, have pauses due to rough transitions, and my bass was too loud, but I got points deducted for vocalizing my displeasure at my stumbling. It's a bad habit. When I perform with my guitar at open mics, sometimes when I mess up, I let out a screeching 'Aaaaaah! that reminds me of James Brown.

My other pieces last semester, I had memorized at least a week before the test and had time to work on expression. My first piece used to bring me to tears. I had finally gotten to the point a day or so before that I wasn't constantly focused on technique and was moved. It didn't happen during the performance though. I was still memorizing and working on technique. Especially those grace notes. I learned a lot. It kinda felt like I was trying to pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time.

AND..... I am totally stoked to be playing the piano!!! Who would have thought? I didn't even know there was a bass clef until the first day of piano last semester:) hee hee. I thought Every Good Boy Did Fine and that was it. I'll catch up with the band kids yet!!!!

Dr. Termini had us practice in front of the class the week before and it was wild. I didn't want to go. I didn't have it memorized. I still was getting lost. I had some of it memorized and I'm still so new to reading notes that sometimes I had the hardest time finding where I was in the score. I'd look down at my fingers and think 'okay, I need to find a place where there's a G in the right hand and an F and a C sharp in the left.' Sometimes, I just couldn't find where I was and would just have to start over from the beginning. The only thing that was working well was the pedal. I was one of the last people to go. Earlier, one young girl in the class sat down at the piano and was so frustrated with mistakes right at the beginning that she banged her hands on the keyboard and walked off, refusing to try again. I could relate to that feeling. I was sitting there thinking 'This is going to be sad.' Luckily, I also had the thought 'Well, this is my offering. I can't be any better than I am right now. I'll do the best I can.'

I walked up to the piano. I sat down and, miraculously it seemed, was really kind to myself and present. I focused on what I was doing and wasn't worried about what people were thinking, just what to do next. And next. And next. Dr. Termini helped me find my place and then at one point had me just move on to the next section. So I did without any self deprecating thoughts. Just doing the next thing as instructed. (Follow the simple instructions, Byron Katie says.) And I made it. To the end and didn't cut off the last note like most people had done, glad to have gotten the public practice over with, leaping out of the spotlight as soon as possible.

With gratitude, I let that last chord ring out and I listened. And then I turned to my audience, my classmates, with a huge smile, waved my fist in the air and yelled out 'Yeah!' And it's true that the audience wants you to succeed because everyone cheered with me. If I had dissed myself, people may have felt uncomfortable for me and squirmed in their seats. I put them at ease with my acceptance of myself except for one classmate who is as hard on herself as I am on me who said in disbelief: 'You're happy with that?!?'

Indeed I was. Happy to be playing the piano. Happy to be learning about music and about life. Cheri Huber says the process is more important than the content. I think she's right. I am happy to be supported by so many beings including myself, 'mistakes' and all.

The Singing Ladies of Ferrara

So...since I have hardly posted anything since school started last fall, let me share some of what I've been learning...here's my research paper for music literature last semester. I found it really interesting to study female musicians in the renaissance. Here's a link to a group in collaboration with a musicologist who is attempting to recreate their work called Musica Secreta. Hope you like it:)

The Singing Ladies of Ferrara

The latter part of the sixteenth century was a transitional time in music and art, a time of new ideas and experimentation and a mingling of art forms. Much music was written in Italy. The next musical era, the Baroque, would see the birth of Italian Opera. But before the rise of opera divas, there were the Singing Ladies of Ferrara. These accomplished musicians became known throughout Italy and abroad for their virtuous singing. Their style was copied by other ‘concerti di donne’ which arose during this time. They inspired poets and composers including Renaissance poet Torquato Tasso who in 1593 published this verse, ‘Forse e cagion l’aurora’, in tribute to one of its later members:

Perhaps the reason for the dawn is the beautiful sound

the leaves and branches and the waters and the wind make?

O in this sweet way, the sky honours Tarquinia

and because of her falls in love with the earth.

I hear, or it seems to me, I hear a voice: it can only be hers;

Lo, Tarquinia comes, and Love approaches. (1-9)

They were ‘professional’ musicians at a time when women could not officially be professional musicians. Though overlooked for centuries, modern scholars and vocalists are now paying tribute to this remarkable group of women in writing and performance (Gras). Who were these ‘ladies’ and what causes and conditions coalesced to create this musical phenomenon?

The Singing Ladies of Ferrara were not a group of women who decided to form a group and support themselves by selling recordings and touring. This would not have been possible during the time in which they lived. Women during the Renaissance had little choice in their vocation outside of child rearing. The incomes and careers of women who had them were managed by their husbands or fathers (Pendle 83). At this time, some singers were amateur noble women members of court and such as the renowned Lucrezia Bendidio, born in 1547 (Paganuzzi 467). Most of the women with more training were courtesans who made up the majority of singers at court from the Middle Ages through the first half of the sixteenth century (Jander 341). Courtesans were highly trained prostitutes who wined, dined and entertained their male guests with music and witty conversation (Pendle 57). During the late Renaissance in Italy, much care was taken to ensure distinction between the two (Pendle 83). The ‘Singing Ladies’ were neither courtesans nor were they of noble birth. How, then, did they come to be?

Laura Peverara, Anna Guarini and Livia D’Arco were brought together in 1580 by a man with power: Duke Alfonso II of Ferrara. He was a patron of music as were the three Dukes that came before him (Lockwood, 486). A rich musical tradition existed at the Este Court. In the 15th century, it had become internationally important as a musical center (Lockwood 486). Important visitors were treated to the Duke’s private chamber music, which became known as Musica Secreta. In 1580, the Duke married his third wife, Margherita of Mantua, who was also a patron of music. She was fifteen and in part to entertain her, he assembled more singers. Lucrezia Bendidio, mentioned earlier, had been retained at court by marriage. He had tried to go this accepted route and assemble more women of nobility who could sing, but was not successful. The last noblewoman he had ‘acquired’, Leonora Santivale, had died in childbirth (Gras). Not giving up his love of music, he then looked to the artisan classes (Gras) finding ways to make it work within the confines of his time. He brought over Laura Peverara, born in 1545, the daughter of a wealthy Mantuan merchant, older, and already known to be a singer of great excellence and charm (Newcomb 605). Laura was an accomplished harp player (Gras). Anna Guarini was the daughter of the famous Ferrarese poet, Battista Guarini (Hanning 771). Livia D’Arco was the youngest member and though she was from a minor noble family, it would not have been enough for her to be a member of the Duke’s court. She was brought for her musical potential, immediately beginning study of the lute (Gras). In need of further training, she did not perform with the group until 1582 (Pendle 80). He had earlier hired a male singer, Brancaccio, but then fired him in 1583 for insubordination. He was not replaced which left an all female ensemble.

The three women; Laura Peverara, Anna Guarini and Livia D’Arco; were all officially ladies-in-waiting to the Duchess of Ferrara and accompanied her on outings. None of them would have been in this position without talent as musicians and therefore were an anomalous entity in this time period. Arriving unmarried, marriages to nobles of Ferrara were arranged to lend respectability to the court, clearly differentiating them from courtesan status and, in the case of Guarini and D’Arco, removing them from the ‘ownership’ of the Mantuan court. Unfortunately, Anna Guarini’s jealous husband would later murder her under the pretext of infidelity (Hanning 771).

These three ladies remained in the service of the Duke from their arrival in 1580 until 1598 when the court dissolved after his death without heir (Lockwood 486). He had earlier hired a male singer, Brancaccio, but then fired him in 1583 for insubordination. He was not replaced which left an all female ensemble.

Tarquinia Molza, an older woman with higher social status was brought in as a performer and mentor to the group in 1583 (Newcomb “Molza” 474). She was the niece of a famous poet and was, in her own right, a poet, musician and scholar recognized in academic circles (Gras). A widow, she had studied music with the approval of her husband. Her five-year membership came to an end in 1589 when her affair with composer Giaches de Wert was discovered (Newcomb “Molza” 474).

The group had a rigorous schedule. In addition to their ladies-in-waiting duties, the women rehearsed four to six hours a day. The Duke listened to them two to four hours daily in his private chamber (Newcomb “Madrigal” 470). They sang singly, in duos and in trios (Strainchamps 378). In addition to singing their repertoire, they could sight read from part books (Pendle 82). Each member was proficient with at least one instrument and could accompany herself and/or the ensemble (Pendle 82). They also performed in the court balleti singing and dancing (Pendle 82).

What were ‘Ladies’ singing? They were performing the most important secular genre of music of the Renaissance: the Italian madrigal. The madrigal was a combination of poetry and music; a popular form of entertainment in Italian courts (Forney 114). Late Renaissance madrigals were especially rich, directly expressing the composer’s musical personality with chromatic harmony, and dramatic declarations vividly depicting emotion (Forney 116). The Ladies’ early repertoire consisted of embellished and modified existing madrigals and later included works composed specifically for them.

The Concerto Delle Donne differed from earlier singers in their virtuosic vocal style (Pendle 81). During this time, the soprano voice emerged as a major player in performance and an influential factor in composition (Jander 341). It is believed that the women probably improvised in rehearsal and then committed the perfected harmonic improvisations to memory (Pendle 82). This ‘new style’ of singing showcased wide-ranging and technically demanding ornamentation (Newcomb, “Madrigal” 470). For example, singers used low or high tessitura, unusual vocal intervals including the tritone, the 7th, 9th and 10th (Newcomb “Madrigal” 470). There were also abrupt silences and contrasts of tempo (Newcomb “Madrigal” 471). Madrigals of the 1580s became increasing ‘saturated’ with ornamented diminutions. This was not for the amateur singer.

Composers were inspired to write out ornamented vocal lines after hearing the ‘voguish new sound of an ensemble of high voices’ (Jander 341). Five staves including three soprano melodies can be seen in manuscripts from this time (Pendle 81). The director of the Musica Secreta, composer Luzzasco Luzzaschi, took five voice madrigals, and used lower voices for accompaniment and higher voices for the sopranos (Gras). An example of one of the works composed by Luzzaschi and thought to be part of the ‘secret’ repertoire not allowed to be published until after Duke Alfonso II’s death is the “Madrigali per cantare et sonare a 1-3 soprani” (Strainchamps 378). Monteverdi, a prominent madrigalist, visited and his subsequent works indicate the influence of his hearing of the Singing Ladies. In his first book of madrigals, the bass enters only after eight or more bars of rest; after the entry of soprano voices (Jander 341). The work, “Solo e pensoso”, of the composer Giaches de Wert shows the influence of the singing ladies (Newcomb “Madrigal” 471).

The benefits accorded the Concerto Delle Donne were many. Laura Peverara received a dowry for her marriage, an apartment in the ducal palace and stipends for her mother and husband (Pendle 83). Torquato Tasso dedicated many poems to her. In addition, three important musical anthologies were dedicated to her (Newcomb “Peverara” 605). During her tenure, Tarquinia Molza, a widower, instead of a receiving another husband, negotiated an apartment and a salary more than twice as high as Luzzaschi (Pendle 83). Later in her life, she became the first woman to receive Roman citizenship (Pendle 83). Anna Guarino and Livia D’Arco were flattered with poetry.

Though not all of its members achieved the same renown, the group, Concerto Delle Donne, became known far and wide and what evolved from the group singing together is of lasting import. The Singing Ladies were influenced by and then influenced the madrigal composers of the time. Together, performer, composer, patron and audience charted new territory. The uncharacteristic path of their lives helped shape a change in the relationship of women to music. Opera singers of the following era would have much more freedom, be recognized as professionals, and would not be required to marry and risk the murderous impulses of a jealous husband. Duke Alfonso II did not know what would be created when he sought out singers. He let his love of music lead the way. These ‘ladies-in-waiting’ must wait no longer for recognition not just as a Renaissance popular group that would have sold many CDs and filled many concert halls, but of their contribution to the evolution of music. Now, thanks to the formation of the musical group, Musica Secreta, in the 1980s, we can all be ‘important’ visitors to the Duke’s private chambers and pay our tribute.

Works Cited

Forney, Kristine and Joseph Machlis. The Enjoyment of Music. 10 ed. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. 2007. Print.

Gras, Laurie. “Early Music Times: Concerti di donne.” Dangerous Graces. U of Southampton. Feb. 2000. Web. 30 November 2009.

Jander, Owen. “Singing.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 17. 1980. 338-346. Print.

Lockwood, Lewis. “Ferrara.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 6. 1980. 486-489. Print.

Newcomb, Anthony. “Laura (Peperara) Peverara. The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 14. 1980. 605. Print.

Newcomb, Anthony. “Tarquinia Molza.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 12. 1980. 474. Print.

Paganuzzi, Enrico. “Lucrezia Bendidio.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 2. 1980. 467. Print.

Pendle, Karen. “Musical Women in Early Modern Europe.” Women & Music: a history. Ed. Karen Pendle. Bloomington: Indiana U P, 2001. 57 – 96. Print.

Tasso, Torquato. “Forse e cagion l’aurora.” 1593. Dangerous Graces. U of Southampton. Oct. 2002. Web. 30 November 2009.

Hanning, B. Russano. “Battista (Giovanni) Guarini.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 7. 1980. 770-772. Print.

Strainchamps, Edmond. “Luzzasco Luzzaschi.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 11. 1980. 378-381. Print.

Newcomb, Anthony. “Madrigal: The 1580s: The ornamented style: Dissemination of the hybrid madrigal.” The New Grove Dictionary of Music and MusiciansÒ. Ed. Stanley Sadie. New York: MacMillan Publishers, Limited. 1980. 2. 470 – 471. Print.