Kervillicious

Now officially a Kervillian!!

I set off from Galveston with some local farm produce, all my camping supplies and a stomach full of butterflies.  Kerrville Folk Festival or Bust!!  I didn't know quite what to expect.  I had found out about the festival from some people I met at a party in Austin on my way back to Texas from Portland, Oregon back in February.  I had shared some songs at the party and was encouraged to go to the festival.  I was also encouraged to move to Austin which I still may do at some point.  I've only started writing songs since the Divorce and I only learned guitar because I love to sing and was worried I wouldn't fit in, that everyone would be so much better than me, that someone would yell out 'You Suck!', etc. etc.  You know how the mind can start running like a freight train.  

I had a little freak-out at Rockin' Robin Guitars in Houston the day before.  I was painfully aware of my limitations on guitar and was looking for a book or something - like I could take a quick crash course in music theory the night before.  It was raining like a banshee and there I was, dripping, looking like a lost, wet rat in front of the sheet music and books.  I felt so helpless and frustrated and all I kept hearing in my head was a little girl's voice, repeating, 'I just want to sing.  I just want to sing.'  I started crying and the poor guys at the shop didn't know what to do.  One guy kept doing drivebys, seeing if he could help.  He even showed me how to do some scales and I just kept looking through book after book, not really understanding, feeling overwhelmed.  At one point, he came over and just gave me a hug.  I walked out with a pack of picks and some blank manuscript paper for writing songs.  

I swallowed a big 'ol lump of fear and packed up my truck.  When I arrived at the festival, the volunteer who greeted me took one look at me and said, 'You're glad to finally be here, aren't you?'  I don't know what kind of look I had on my face, but I was indeed, glad to have gotten myself there, come what may.  And the adventure began.

I wasn't in the same space as many of the folks there, some coming back year after year.  I wasn't there to party.  I was there to take my stand as a musician, to start where I was, to face my fears and to get some help.  Some motivation, some guidance.  I got all that and more.

The first day of songwriting school, Rick, the director, began talking about the muse, about creativity.  I started crying almost immediately.  

"(Clap!)  From this moment on, you are a successful songwriter.  Put all the angst in a box with the doubt, etc., tie it up with a bow and place it in the garden of life.  When they 'escape', or arise again, give them a little time and then put them back in the box,  retie the bow and place them gently back in the garden.  As you walk away, whisper to them 'Love ya.'

It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I thought it would be all about theory and song structure and technical details.  There was a group of instructors and they all added their expertise and experience.  I was so disarmed.  My heart felt so full.  I had never been so respected or supported in my creativity.  Never was I made to feel less than the others and everyone was so encouraging - so real - so giving.  I didn't understand when we did get to the music theory part (Thanks, Dr. Dick) - I felt like I was back in Oaxaca, Mexico, only understanding every third word or so - and I trusted that the more I am immersed, the more I will learn.  And I was exactly where I needed to be. 

I was delighted to discover that one of the instructors, Billy Jonas (www.billyjonas.com), has in the past taught with the instructor I did a singing workshop with at Esalen Institute over the new year, Claude Stein.  Billy is a bit unconventional and his session was about cultivating our creativity, grounding ourselves on a daily basis in our bodies to support us as we delve into the vulnerable places that great songs come from.  Cliff Eberhart was an inspiring critic - I was amazed to see how he would listen to a participant's song - not the lyrics, but the music - and suggest a chord change or a transition and how it would energize a song, bring it out into relief. Rick was a lyricist and in addition to the opening encouragement and activities for bringing forth our creativity (no such thing as writer's block - see earlier post - Grandfather Tree), he shared some valuable information on song structure and rhyming schemes and told me I had some natural talent with words.  Everyone shared what they knew best in such a down-to-earth collegial way that I was continually moved.  I was beginning to understand why those at the gate greeted everyone with the phrase 'Welcome Home!' 

A huge THANK YOU to the volunteers, instructors and participants of the 2009 Songwriting School.  May we all keep 'saving the world, one song at a time'.

Me and Freebo, one of the instructors - a renowned bass player turned singer-songwriter who highly recommended The Artist's Way.  His music is truly inspiring.

www.freebo.com

Group 1:  Tad, Courtney, Instructor Rick, Lloyd, a guy who came just that one day to audit, and Farrel.

Lewis Childs from Portland, OR

www.LewisChilds.com

We were so stoked after the first day of songwriting school that a few of us kept talking after class seeking refuge in some shade.  Four of us; me, Lewis, Jason and David; took turns sharing songs - we had all been in different groups.  It was one of the highlights for me.  Some of the song circles were really intimidating. Even though I was definitely the least skilled of the bunch (Lewis was amazing), it felt safe for me and the guys were so incredibly nice, appreciating and giving me advice about my songs.  It was so affirming - I tear up thinking about it now - I sometimes still have trouble calling myself a musician!  I grew up thinking I was the serious, nerdy one - definitely not the hip artist type. 

'The Brothers', as Lewis nicknamed Jason and David, playing after school on the last day.  They used to play together in college and met up at the fest as a kind of batchelor party - Jason is getting married in July!!!  Congrats!!

OOooeeeee!  That storm was a doozie!!!  

The canopy never recovered even after lots of duct tape and love.

Some new fans.  They videoed me playing Food on My Plate to use with a kids program.  I thank truck drivers in one verse and he's a truck driver!!!!!

Me and Tyler Jordan, tenting right next door.  

We shared songs at a fire the first night.  He lives in Austin. 

Me and Meredith, one of Tyler's friends.

Me and Alisha, also camped next door with Tyler and friends.  Her hubby drew the South Austin Music mural in Austin.  It's rad and has one of my song school instructors on it.

She's super nice and has a gift shop in Waco.

The Ballad Tree on Chapel Hill

Yours truly at Ballad Tree wearing my 'Born Free' t-shirt

I sang my love song called We Tried, (it's posted about my Utah ex, Ed) one of my ones I have been frustrated with b/c the chorus and verse have the same melody.  Afterwards, David helped me come up with a new melody which meant the rhyming scheme didn't work anymore so I had to change the words.  It is now much much shorter with a totally different chorus and a different tentative title:  Sometimes You Just Have to Walk Away.  It doesn't even have the words 'we tried' anymore, but I may put them back in bridge form or something.  I'm still working on it.  I am also using a capo on the second fret which is helpful for my natural vocal range.  I've had a capo for awhile but never used for anything except for playing one Indigo Girls song that called for a capo.  I didn't really understand it's usefulness.

Jason singing a song about Texas he wrote before ever coming here.  Has a line about a salamander which he changed to have it jumping out of his suitcase which actually happened at a hotel in Kerrville last week.  Some hypothesize it was actually a lizard.

Me, Katie, Tad, Jason and David in the dancing corner by the Main Stage. 

Terri Hendrix and Lloyd Mains 

(two of the instructors at the SongWriting School) 

performing at a Children's Concert

Me and Terri after the show.  She loves to hang out and talk to fans after the shows.  

Katie and I hung out after many of our songwriting cohorts split and decided to write a song together, a song of imprisonment and liberation.  We brainstormed some images and lyrics and I wrote the music for the verse and chorus.  Unfortunately, then she had to go back to Austin.  I went down to the Medina River the next day for a few  hours and fleshed out the rest of the song.  Then I shared it at Steve Gillete's critic circle where the chorus got a thumbs up, but, as usual for me, it was too long.  

I sang it for Tad (www.TadDreis.com) later and he very generously helped me with the song structure.  We cut out two of the verses and he helped me ( drum roll please) ... write my first ever bridge.  I didn't really get how those worked or how you went about writing one.  He actually wrote the music for it and came up with the final words after a discussion of how to make it the liberation piece.  It uses minor chords for a different feel and I really dig it.  He helped me with the teeny intro and the extended prechorus at the end and throwing in an Em in the chorus for the last time around.  It was awesome to leave Kerrville with a new song, one much more musically interesting than most of my others.  It's called Suit of Armor.  It will be a song on the future album:  Shy Girl Blues.  Maybe.  Anyway, it was way cool to collaborate with other musicians.   I was skeptical at first that the story would get lost cutting out so much, but it really seems to work.  Better.  I am now ready to take all my other songs to the chopping block!!!!

Johann Wagner serenades the crowd.  Check him out at jwagnermusic.com

One of the cool hotspots was across from the Kerrtree store at Staff Kerrecords where volunteer staff members played their original tunes and sold their CDs.  Lots of groovy tunes.

Ellie and I at Guitar 101 under the Council Tree

Charlie, Jerry, the instructor, and Anne

Guitar 101.  Dogen (Founder of Zen Buddhism)  said 'Start where you are and practice will occur.'  So I took advantage of the free guitar lessons offered by Jerry who happens to live in Clear Lake, not far from me which means I can continue learning chord progressions, bar chords, arpeggios, and (drum roll please) ... to read music.  I've been wanting to do that for a long time.  By the time I left we were using the first three frets of the first three strings to play Aura Lee and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  Humble beginnings.....

  

Driving back to Galveston as the sun rises, a song arose as it often does as I drive distances and the chorus so far goes like this (thanks Hat Guy for the inspiration):

Cheeri, Cheerio

He gave me a hug and called me Cheerio.

I knew he'd been down the same road.

Cheeri, Cheerio

He gave me a hug and called me Cheerio.

I knew I'd found a kindred soul.

The whole thing was kind of like that.  So much support, respect, collaboration, and creativity from so many kindred souls expressing themselves courageously, sharing themselves generously.  Saving the world one song at a time.